Life

Life is weird. Have you ever wonder what is the purpose of this life? Are we are just meant to be born, get a few years of education and then work until we die? For me life is like a test, a scripted test that god have written for us but the choice is still in our hand. To do the right things or the vice versa. A bird fly early at the morning to be home with a full stomach in the evening. It’s a promise by god that stated in the hadith which tell us that with hardwork and determination, we can change our fate. But again life is weird. It’s not always to go to what have you expect and somehow you end up in the state which you never imagine for.

I was born in a small middle class family and living just at the edge of state capital. I had a fun and normal childhood with my school friends. We played soccer in the mud, race with ourselves modified bicycle downward the hill and defeating monster together for loot in the video game together. It’s was the best period in my life. A period which free from an adult burden and responsibilities. I was rather a shy student with so-so grades back then. I was not good in mathematics and in love with chemistry. I expected myself to further my studies in chemistry related degree in a local university not far from my family house.

But life is weird. A few years later I ended up in the country thousand miles from home and as a mechanical student; demanding strong mathematics skills and knowledges which I did not have. To be honest I was neither a best scorer nor someone with strong personality to be lucky enough to get a scholarship and furthering my studies overseas. But time passed and it’s have been a tough and fun life as a student here in Japan. Life here is sometimes like a calm and warm spring which Sakura leaf gracefully dance in the air. But there is also a dark and long night in the stormy winter which make you to start to miss the moon. This period far from support of my family really taught me to be strong and to do what I have taught to be right.

Soon I will earn my diploma scroll in mechanical engineering and will furthering my studies in another state university. At  this phase of life, many of us start to look for the right life partner. I just hope that I settled with someone who ready to face incoming wave of hardship in life together and have the same passion with me. Having a long drive with good music or spending night together counting the star sound ideal to me but I ready for any plot twist in the journey and ready to fight it out for the one I will settled with. Deep inside I really like to travel to the world seeing its beauty and mysteries but having a routine work life as an engineer dealing with machine in the weekdays and spending weekend with my soon to be family is enough for me.

Life is weird enough to make cry at the moment and be oppositely happy seconds later. Since we do not know what is waiting for us in the future, the best we can do is to endure it bravely and strongly through the hardship and enjoy every bit of happiness we earn at the moment. Maybe what we have been chasing and fight for is not meant to be for us because it is not the best for us. Soon we will know the reasons behind every bit of up and down that god had set for us.

2017

Its been a long time since any post is posted here. I’m too busy to actually write anything here. Well you know its an excuse. Its on how you manage your priorities. As a final year student here in Kosen, the study load is not as harsh as what had I endured last year. But to pursue my study to degree level, I need to take the university entrance exam. Passing it will make my life in Japan 2 years longer. It’s a long fight until I finally accepted to a university that I wanted to transfer to for my degree. To be honest I almost gave up but Allah answered my pray and show the best for me, Alhamdulilah. For almost 3 years since the first time I set my foot here, somehow I had grew some affection to its culture and people. Life is different here, most of the time it is in fast pace, chasing deadline, struggling for exams. Then there is time when you feel like you had done everything you need to be done. Free of any burden and have plenty time to spend but somehow you feel empty. Something is missing. As a Muslim going back to our creator is the best way to fulfill the emptiness. And as a Muslim we knew that we are created to be in pair. And process in finding your pair is a bit complicated. It’s depends on what you seek, a desperate measure to have bf/gf or finding a life time partner.

‘Seishun’, a word in Japanese, describing a period in life which you are young, strong and brave. Young to fearlessly face challenge and physically strong to do what you want to do. ‘Seishun’ is also refer as a period when you face your first love, either knowing it or having it. It will be a story you will telling you grandchildren in their bed time and can’t afford to not smiling remembering it. I can call myself as someone who is facing this period, and badly falling too lol.

I never wrote anything too personal here. Since many of my friends and junior know who is the writer of this blog, writing something sensitive here will only make things goes worse. Will I, against any of my principle going to write it here?. No. But teasing you guys will be pleasure to me. If any of you, for some reason, had found this lame blog, and somehow dearly enough to read this very line, thank you.

I met a lot of people, surprisingly, at this young age. It’s the perk of studying oversea I guess. Meeting people from countries that you only knew their countries names from books. And somehow I manage to get very personal with them in sharing their life story; struggle or even their opinion about love. The definition of their ideal partner is always differ from other. Some still didn’t have their own definition on what kind of person suits them the best. But the things that you want is not always the best thing for you. It’s something we believe in Islam, qada and qadar, where what god had set for us is the best for us. And praying to make the things that you want, to be the best for you is an effort need to be done by a believing Muslim.

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      A half year past since the last time I wrote last paragraph. A lot things happen and 2017 has been the toughest year of my life. A year which I need to be strong for my own sake and for those who care for me. Rejection, failure and misfortune hit me hard but seasons keep changing. A harsh and cold winter night will be soon be replace with warm and beautiful spring. So does our life. Whenever life hit you hard, just keep standing back and remember that it will pass soon or later.

Hardship teach us about how strong we actually are.  I’m grateful to have supportive people around me, helping me during those harsh time. Their number is small but its better than having a thousand companion who don’t really care about you. I learnt a lot in hard way but those experience taught me well. On what I has been chasing and what really suit me. But I can’t tell that I already has an answer to the golden question, who is the one. Lol.

 1 month more to go and I will graduate from this school. Fukui Kousen. It’s a mix feeling, to be sad or happy to finally leaving this school. A lot of memories has been made here. Those sleepless night studying for exam or finishing assignment. Cooking together for school festive or spending time together doing stupid crazy things. Seeing people we attached to, to go and being replace with new people each year. Its somehow feel weird to be the one who are leaving this place this march. Maybe I will miss this very moment, sitting in this small room, typing this very post despite of tons work waiting to be finish for my final year project. 頑張って行こう

A birthday rant

Its turn to 22. As I wrote previous sentence chorus part of Taylor Swift's song, Fifteen come cross to mind. Well for me coming from a Malaysian cultural perspective, its too early(read:easy) to believe that someone really love you at 15 years old. Its just will be a part of your life that make you smile alone everytime you remember it or make you want to crush your head to the wall remembering it.

Thats all the qouta for merepek's opening and lets get serious (alamak). I rarely even remember when my birthday is and for years back its always come like "oh yesterday my birthday la". But facebook age come and it help everyone remember when your birthday is. Its good actually. Human being especially male really struggle remember those birthday date. Its a fact that atleast apply to me. lul.

And it come to mine today turning to 22. What have I done on this 21 years?. Well I think I need to change the sentence to what god had plan for me on for 21 years back.  Nothing significant to be say here but i can say that i'm living my dream. Sitting infront a laptop, ignoring those shimekiri(read:workload) in warm room seeing snow falling(well its not falling but just bear with it to make this post interesting) from the window, is once just a big dream of a kid that want to make his mother proud. And he need to make his mother proudness continue this year. This year i need to take university entrance exam, yes, the one that look very hard and Japanese will study like crazy for it, like in those anime you had watch.

Life is hard aboard. Like in countless time I had talk about hardship in those merepek's post throughout this blog. Sometime I realize that becoming lazy is easy when you dont have goal to achieve. And to this point of my life I realize that i need to work hard to achieve something. Its sound really atarimae(read: general) statement for everyone but i'm not a fast learner and really bad at learning under pressure. I'm a kind that need to take time a learn step by step or bit by bit to really grab it.(Writing your weakness online sound bad actually haha)

Find your goal, and work hard. Try to not pressure yourself, have fun achieving it.

Its easier to say those advice to someone else then apply it to myself. harsh reality. lul. Anyway thanks to everyone who remember or realize today is the day for me. Kind words are actually enough for me but having a cat to cuddle in this long winter is much to be appreciate. Again thanks!. (crying while running sticker)

Mochikaeri

Hampir berbulan mungkin setahun sejak kali terakhir aku menapak muka diblog ni. Masa berlalu membawa luruh pergi. Meninggalkan pokok ketogelan untuk menghadapi musim sejuk. Dan aku mungkin sama atau tak berubah langsung;tak mampu nak menilai sendiri. Yang pasti semangat waktu kali pertama menaip post pertama blog ni dah tak sama seperti sekarang. Mungkin persekitaran. mungkin kesan berpisah lama dari keluarga dan mungkin putus cinta. Eh. Yang pasti cara aku melihat esok dah tak sama seperti dulu. Kalau dulu esok penuh debaran, dan setiap detik menanti esok perlu dimanfaatkan dengan usaha dan doa. Tapi sekarang esok hanya membawa erti cuti semakin hampir, mula muak menulis laporan atau resah memikirkan masa depan.

Tinggi lagi?

Kalau dulu aku merasa diri aku seperti burung yang cuba terbang. Mustahil. Itu yang pertama terbayang dari seorang pelajar sekolah biasa di pinggir bandar. Tak pernah dibuat orang, kata tipikal masyarakat melayu. Tapi ada  juga yang berkata "Kau perlu bersyukur dilahirkan sebagai burung, lahir untuk terbang memenuhi awan. Ramai lagi spesis yang tak mampu buat apa yang kau buat. Dekat sini je kau nak berhenti?".

Kita berhenti disini beranggapan dia dah pun boleh terbang. Alhamdulilah. Hampir 2 tahun dinegara orang. Kalau dulu ada tanggapan itu ini pada masyarkat setempat disini sekarang lebih banyak terbuka mata, tersedar dihati dan tersentuh di buku lali. Dan mungkin bukan aku saja yang terbuka mata. Mereka pun mula belajar dimana Malaysia di peta dunia. Terlalu kecil katanya.

 Dan soalan yang terlalu cliché jika hidup di negara seperti ini sebagai seorang pelajar luar negara ialah:

Kenapa ye dok nak mai belajak kat Jepun ni? (orang jepun ada loghat jugak kot)

Maka keluarlah jawapan tipikal aku:

kita dok kagum tengok negara  mung maju, nak belajak sikit ilmu genering ni bawak balik Malaysia.

(satu kesopanan untuk membalas jawapan seseorang dalam bahasa dia yang dia tanya )

Sejujurnya tak tersenarai dalam impian aku untuk duk belajar jauh-jauh ni. Mungkin kurang pendedahan dulu. Pemikiran terlalu sempit di tempat yang sama. Mana taknya hari-hari tengok Tv3. Tapi bila tuhan dah susun jalan aku sampai ke sini, aku rasa yang aku perlu bawa balik sesuatu.

Tahun ni sempat aku buat latihan industri di sebuah kilang milik Jepun di Malaysia. Ye cik kak di Malaysia. Habisnya cuti musim panas dulu dikilang cermin mata. Maka sempatlah berkenalan dengan ramai staf disana. 2 minggu disana dah boleh buat aku faham pelbagai ragam dan politik tempat berkerja. Lebih2 lagi sebagai seorang yang mampu memahami 3 bahasa. Satu pihak berpendapat sesuatu tapi tak pernah cuba beritahu satu pihak yang lain. Alasannya kekakangan bahasa dan perbezaan pangkat. Macam talam dua muka aku jadinya.

Banyak yang aku belajar disana. Tentang bezanya dunia pekerjaan dan belajar. Juga kelemahan pada mereka yang bekerja disana. Hanya tahu prosedur tanpa mengetahui sebab disebaliknya. Mungkin juga sikap sambil lewa pekerja bangsa kita. Segan bila manager berbangsa Jepun bercerita tentang itu pada satu makan malam bersama pekerja berbangsa Jepun lain( Aku pun terselit sama). Diucapkan dalam bahasa ibundanya tapi dia tahu yang aku mampu faham apa yang dia cuba dia katakan. Mungkin sindiran atau satu nasihat tak langsung buat aku dimasa depan.

Satu perbualan bersama supervisor yang cukup lama berkhidmat di kilang tu buat aku terfikir sesuatu: "Semua orang boleh dapat ijazah sekarang, apa yang kita belajar di universiti dulu mungkin 10%-20% je berguna bila bekerja tapi bila ada sijil tu orang percaya la kat kita yang kita boleh buat kerja tu".

Aku serahkan pada korang untuk menilai ayat tu (Sebenarnya berkaitan dengan agenda seterusnya).

Berbalik pada persoalan tentang 'Aku rasa aku perlu bawa balik sesuatu' tadi, Jauh kita dah sampai menggunakan duit cukai rakyat. Cukup sekadar ala kadar membawa ijazah balik?. Yup betul lulus setiap ujian adalah  KEWAJIBAN untuk terus menyambung pengajian di sini. Dan tak senang sebenarnya untuk survive (serius gais) . Kerja keras. kerja keras. Itu je la yang kita perlu buat dan harus buat.

Dan bawalah balik sesuatu dari sini, pernah seorang kawan aku cerita yang dia belajar satu seni mempertahankan diri jepun untuk bawa balik sesuatu dari Jepun. Ayat itu sebenarnya yang aku terasa nak menaip hampir sejam post ni padahal banyak je assaignment tak buat lagi.

Aku sendiri tercari apa yang mungkin aku mampu bawa pulang selain dari sehelai sijil sewaktu selesai pengajian nanti(inshaAllah). Mungkin bahasa. mungkin budaya. mungkin juga menantu untuk Mak di Malaysia. Pernah juga terfikir tentang kesukaran mereka untuk berkomunikasi atau keluhan dia tentang panasnya Malaysia atau kenapa babi merupakan perkataan yang menghina di Malaysia. Berbeza di Jepun dimana itu adalah makanan ruji mereka. Realiti gais. lul.

GoPro

Video kompilasi hampir setahun setengah dari beberapa travel sekitar Jepun dan Korea yang diambil dari Gopro. Kebanyakan scene dalam video ni diambil secara spontan. Bermakna gelagat mereka ni dihabitat asli mereka.  Ada beberapa typo dan salah coordinate tapi biarlah haha.

Terima kasih pada semua yang menyumbang untuk video ni (kebanyakan masa gambar diambil oleh orang lain bukan aku).

*Anda boleh matikan lagu selingan blog dengan menekan butang pause di sebelah kiri bawah jika ia mengganggu anda ketika menonton video ini*

Raya

   29 Ramadhan. Hari dimana dicorong radio mula berkumandang lagu raya. Sesetengah dengan rentak gembira, ada juga yang sayu membalut hati. Di dapur ada yang berusaha menyiapkan makanan tahunan. Tak lengkap katanya kalau tiada makanan tersebut di pagi raya. Jika anda duduk di suatu ruang rumah, suara kanak2 bermain riang atau orang2 dewasa berseloroh mungkin kedengaran. Sambil termenung terbayang jadual hari esok yang padat dari pagi ke malam. Patut bertandang ke rumah siapa dahulu atau patut mencuba kuih yang mana satu. Dalam lamunan itu tiba2 ada suara memanggil nama anda, argh, ini mesti suruh tolong itu ini. Dengan malas anda bangun, tersenyum mengenang keadaan sekeliling.

    Tahun ini perasaan raya yang ideal tersebut tiada. Terdengar perlahan bahagian korus lagu bertajuk kosong oleh Najwa Latif berkumandang di hati. Suasana. Itu yang berbeza sejak dua tahun di negara orang ini. Pelik kalau malam raya masyarakat Jepun membakar lemang atau bertakbir raya beramai-ramai pada saat ini. Realitinya hari terasa biasa dengan kelas dan assignment saling berganti. Daun masih hijau tergantung di pokok dan kelas esok bermula jam 9pagi.

    Sejujurnya setiap tahun perasaan sedih pasti akan hadir. Terkenang rutin yang selalu dilakukan pada tarikh yang sama setiap tahun. Post ini tak bertujuan sebagai keluhan mahupun cara untuk menyampaikan kesedihan dalam ego yang tinggi. Tapi lebih kepada cara menambah post sebab lama tak tulis apa2 dekat sini. Maaf jika ada yang ternanti sesuatu yang baru dari blog ni. Kemalasan atau ketandusan idea. Tak tahu aku nak salahkan mana satu.

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin! (2016/5/7  9.06pm  Fukui, Jepun)

新しい世界

New World　！！

機械工学科3年

シャフィック

　「うちの近くの大学に進学するなら、楽に家へ帰れるかな」と思いながら高校２年生（マレーシアの高校は５年生）の時にSPM（Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia）の試験を一生懸命に頑張っていた。SPMというのはマレーシアの高校生によって一番大事な試験だ。いい大学に入りたいならいい点数を取らなければならない。１０分で自宅へ帰れる大学は、トップクラスの大学であるため、僕は無理だとずっと思っていた。

　その話から３年間経ち５年生になった時、ずっと憧れていた大学に進学しないで、僕は高専に進学した。でも、高専は前の高校と比べて全然違う。景色とか文化が異なって皆がわからない言葉で話している。家に帰りたいなら一日中歩いても着かない。毎日自分で料理を作らなければならない。

　しかし、僕はこの他とは違う高専に入ったことには全然後悔がない。また神様にずっと感謝をしている。正直、留学することが出来たのは僕にとって奇跡だ。小さい頃から「桜が見たいな」と願いがあったが、国の代表として日本の高専に留学するとは思っていなかった。

　日本語はまだまだおかしくて、専門の科目が時々わからないけれども、この機会を無駄にせずに立派なエンジニアを目指して頑張りたいと思う。