Its been a long time since any post is
posted here. I’m too busy to actually write anything here. Well you know its an
excuse. Its on how you manage your priorities. As a final year student here in
Kosen, the study load is not as harsh as what had I endured last year. But to
pursue my study to degree level, I need to take the university entrance exam.
Passing it will make my life in Japan 2 years longer. It’s a long fight until I
finally accepted to a university that I wanted to transfer to for my degree. To
be honest I almost gave up but Allah answered my pray and show the best for me,
Alhamdulilah. For almost 3 years since the first time I set my foot here,
somehow I had grew some affection to its culture and people. Life is different
here, most of the time it is in fast pace, chasing deadline, struggling for
exams. Then there is time when you feel like you had done everything you need to
be done. Free of any burden and have plenty time to spend but somehow you feel
empty. Something is missing. As a Muslim going back to our creator is the best
way to fulfill the emptiness. And as a Muslim we knew that we are created to be
in pair. And process in finding your pair is a bit complicated. It’s depends on
what you seek, a desperate measure to have bf/gf or finding a life time
partner.
‘Seishun’, a word in Japanese, describing a
period in life which you are young, strong and brave. Young to fearlessly face
challenge and physically strong to do what you want to do. ‘Seishun’ is also
refer as a period when you face your first love, either knowing it or having
it. It will be a story you will telling you grandchildren in their bed time and
can’t afford to not smiling remembering it. I can call myself as someone who is
facing this period, and badly falling too lol.
I never wrote anything too personal here.
Since many of my friends and junior know who is the writer of this blog,
writing something sensitive here will only make things goes worse. Will I,
against any of my principle going to write it here?. No. But teasing you guys
will be pleasure to me. If any of you, for some reason, had found this lame
blog, and somehow dearly enough to read this very line, thank you.
I met a lot of people, surprisingly, at
this young age. It’s the perk of studying oversea I guess. Meeting people from
countries that you only knew their countries names from books. And somehow I
manage to get very personal with them in sharing their life story; struggle or
even their opinion about love. The definition of their ideal partner is always
differ from other. Some still didn’t have their own definition on what kind of
person suits them the best. But the things that you want is not always the best
thing for you. It’s something we believe in Islam, qada and qadar, where what
god had set for us is the best for us. And praying to make the things that you
want, to be the best for you is an effort need to be done by a believing
Muslim.
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A half year past since the last time I wrote
last paragraph. A lot things happen and 2017 has been the toughest year of my
life. A year which I need to be strong for my own sake and for those who care
for me. Rejection, failure and misfortune hit me hard but seasons keep changing.
A harsh and cold winter night will be soon be replace with warm and beautiful spring.
So does our life. Whenever life hit you hard, just keep standing back and
remember that it will pass soon or later.
Hardship teach us about how strong we actually are. I’m grateful to have supportive people around
me, helping me during those harsh time. Their number is small but its better
than having a thousand companion who don’t really care about you. I learnt a
lot in hard way but those experience taught me well. On what I has been chasing
and what really suit me. But I can’t tell that I already has an answer to the golden
question, who is the one. Lol.
1 month more to go and I will
graduate from this school. Fukui Kousen. It’s a mix feeling, to be sad or happy
to finally leaving this school. A lot of memories has been made here. Those sleepless night studying for exam or finishing assignment. Cooking together for school festive or spending time together doing stupid crazy things. Seeing
people we attached to, to go and being replace with new people each year. Its somehow feel weird to be the one who are leaving this place this march. Maybe
I will miss this very moment, sitting in this small room, typing this very post
despite of tons work waiting to be finish for my final year project. 頑張って行こう
