Life

Life is weird. Have you ever wonder what is the purpose of this life? Are we are just meant to be born, get a few years of education and then work until we die? For me life is like a test, a scripted test that god have written for us but the choice is still in our hand. To do the right things or the vice versa. A bird fly early at the morning to be home with a full stomach in the evening. It’s a promise by god that stated in the hadith which tell us that with hardwork and determination, we can change our fate. But again life is weird. It’s not always to go to what have you expect and somehow you end up in the state which you never imagine for.

I was born in a small middle class family and living just at the edge of state capital. I had a fun and normal childhood with my school friends. We played soccer in the mud, race with ourselves modified bicycle downward the hill and defeating monster together for loot in the video game together. It’s was the best period in my life. A period which free from an adult burden and responsibilities. I was rather a shy student with so-so grades back then. I was not good in mathematics and in love with chemistry. I expected myself to further my studies in chemistry related degree in a local university not far from my family house.

But life is weird. A few years later I ended up in the country thousand miles from home and as a mechanical student; demanding strong mathematics skills and knowledges which I did not have. To be honest I was neither a best scorer nor someone with strong personality to be lucky enough to get a scholarship and furthering my studies overseas. But time passed and it’s have been a tough and fun life as a student here in Japan. Life here is sometimes like a calm and warm spring which Sakura leaf gracefully dance in the air. But there is also a dark and long night in the stormy winter which make you to start to miss the moon. This period far from support of my family really taught me to be strong and to do what I have taught to be right.

Soon I will earn my diploma scroll in mechanical engineering and will furthering my studies in another state university. At  this phase of life, many of us start to look for the right life partner. I just hope that I settled with someone who ready to face incoming wave of hardship in life together and have the same passion with me. Having a long drive with good music or spending night together counting the star sound ideal to me but I ready for any plot twist in the journey and ready to fight it out for the one I will settled with. Deep inside I really like to travel to the world seeing its beauty and mysteries but having a routine work life as an engineer dealing with machine in the weekdays and spending weekend with my soon to be family is enough for me.

Life is weird enough to make cry at the moment and be oppositely happy seconds later. Since we do not know what is waiting for us in the future, the best we can do is to endure it bravely and strongly through the hardship and enjoy every bit of happiness we earn at the moment. Maybe what we have been chasing and fight for is not meant to be for us because it is not the best for us. Soon we will know the reasons behind every bit of up and down that god had set for us.

2017

Its been a long time since any post is posted here. I’m too busy to actually write anything here. Well you know its an excuse. Its on how you manage your priorities. As a final year student here in Kosen, the study load is not as harsh as what had I endured last year. But to pursue my study to degree level, I need to take the university entrance exam. Passing it will make my life in Japan 2 years longer. It’s a long fight until I finally accepted to a university that I wanted to transfer to for my degree. To be honest I almost gave up but Allah answered my pray and show the best for me, Alhamdulilah. For almost 3 years since the first time I set my foot here, somehow I had grew some affection to its culture and people. Life is different here, most of the time it is in fast pace, chasing deadline, struggling for exams. Then there is time when you feel like you had done everything you need to be done. Free of any burden and have plenty time to spend but somehow you feel empty. Something is missing. As a Muslim going back to our creator is the best way to fulfill the emptiness. And as a Muslim we knew that we are created to be in pair. And process in finding your pair is a bit complicated. It’s depends on what you seek, a desperate measure to have bf/gf or finding a life time partner.

‘Seishun’, a word in Japanese, describing a period in life which you are young, strong and brave. Young to fearlessly face challenge and physically strong to do what you want to do. ‘Seishun’ is also refer as a period when you face your first love, either knowing it or having it. It will be a story you will telling you grandchildren in their bed time and can’t afford to not smiling remembering it. I can call myself as someone who is facing this period, and badly falling too lol.

I never wrote anything too personal here. Since many of my friends and junior know who is the writer of this blog, writing something sensitive here will only make things goes worse. Will I, against any of my principle going to write it here?. No. But teasing you guys will be pleasure to me. If any of you, for some reason, had found this lame blog, and somehow dearly enough to read this very line, thank you.

I met a lot of people, surprisingly, at this young age. It’s the perk of studying oversea I guess. Meeting people from countries that you only knew their countries names from books. And somehow I manage to get very personal with them in sharing their life story; struggle or even their opinion about love. The definition of their ideal partner is always differ from other. Some still didn’t have their own definition on what kind of person suits them the best. But the things that you want is not always the best thing for you. It’s something we believe in Islam, qada and qadar, where what god had set for us is the best for us. And praying to make the things that you want, to be the best for you is an effort need to be done by a believing Muslim.

**********************************  

      A half year past since the last time I wrote last paragraph. A lot things happen and 2017 has been the toughest year of my life. A year which I need to be strong for my own sake and for those who care for me. Rejection, failure and misfortune hit me hard but seasons keep changing. A harsh and cold winter night will be soon be replace with warm and beautiful spring. So does our life. Whenever life hit you hard, just keep standing back and remember that it will pass soon or later.

Hardship teach us about how strong we actually are.  I’m grateful to have supportive people around me, helping me during those harsh time. Their number is small but its better than having a thousand companion who don’t really care about you. I learnt a lot in hard way but those experience taught me well. On what I has been chasing and what really suit me. But I can’t tell that I already has an answer to the golden question, who is the one. Lol.

 1 month more to go and I will graduate from this school. Fukui Kousen. It’s a mix feeling, to be sad or happy to finally leaving this school. A lot of memories has been made here. Those sleepless night studying for exam or finishing assignment. Cooking together for school festive or spending time together doing stupid crazy things. Seeing people we attached to, to go and being replace with new people each year. Its somehow feel weird to be the one who are leaving this place this march. Maybe I will miss this very moment, sitting in this small room, typing this very post despite of tons work waiting to be finish for my final year project. 頑張って行こう